Hell Nurse

By Mark W. Danielson

Here’s a great plot for a horror story.  A patient visits a back pain clinic and gets more agony than relief.  It begins with being ignored at the front desk and then being greeted by an angry nurse who escorts him into the back room among multiple victims on gurneys.  His curtain is drawn long enough to change into hospital garb before being opened so all can witness his IV being inserted.  Left staring at the ceiling, the victim then inspects every rusty bolt in the converted factory as loaded gurneys are wheeled back and forth in front of him.  Ninety minutes later and shaking from the cold, the anesthesiologist says, “Time for a nap,” and the victim falls into a groggy state.  Having been wheeled under bright lights and rolled onto his stomach, pain rips through his shoulders as his arms are brought forward and legs raised to prepare for a foot long needle.  The next thing he knows, the patient awakens in the recovery room.

Checking his body for missing parts, he is relieved to find everything is intact.  Unfortunately, that included the back pain.  His stomach groans when the doctor schedules another visit.  On his way out, he notices a sinister grin from the nurse from hell.

After the second injection yields the same result, X-rays show the victim has a compression fracture.  Assuring him this is an easy repair, the doctor says the patient must be awake for this one in case he nicks a nerve.  When the time comes, lying awake, face down and deadened from the lower back down, the doctor strikes a nerve as if acting on his own premonition.  With pain shooting down the patient’s leg, the doctor calmly says, “This is why we keep you awake,” adding they took a biopsy as a precaution.  Suddenly concerned, the patient contemplates that while waiting for the medicine to diminish so he can put weight on his legs.  Eyeing Hell Nurse, he watches her make her rounds, numbing everyone with her gaze.  When he learns his biopsy is missing – he is convinced Hell Nurse was at fault.  Although the repair fixed his sharp pain, the rest hangs like sewer stink.    

Not satisfied, the doc said, “Once you’re heeled, we’ll get you back for another procedure.”  Mulling this over, the patient remembers the victim in Stephen King's Misery and wonders if this is a bad dream.  He watches a dozen people come and go while recovering, wondering if anyone feels better afterwards.  His missing biopsy keeps popping into his head, and yet he still returns for a fourth procedure.  This time before the privacy curtain is drawn, he insists on speaking to the doctor first.  Reluctantly, Hell Nurse releases her grip, but before walking off, mentions something about an implant.  Now left to his thoughts but fully clothed, he contemplates his future as more gurneys are paraded by.  When the doctor shows up an hour later, he convinces him he really needs this procedure to determine where the pain was coming from.  Submitting to the IV, Hell Nurse promptly screws it up, and although the doctor does the next one, it hurts more than any before.  To make matters worse, the doc yells at his nurse for mentioning implants, and then assures the patient this is only another pain blocking injection.  Now all the patient can think of is a bad joke --   Why is pain like a cockroach.?  Because it resists pain block injections!   

Clearly, there is a time when even the most loyal patient cries Uncle, and now this patient is screaming it.  It matters not that the doc wants him back for a disc repair, there is NO way this patient is ever returning to THAT office.  Turns out it was a good thing, too, because a consulting neurosurgeon (read second opinion) says definitely NO to more surgery.  Instead, get in the pool and do physical therapy.  As you might imagine, this is a true story and I was the victim.  My compression fracture repair was good, but the second opinion was even better.  As for Hell Nurse, don’t be surprised if she shows up in one of my stories . . .          

         

Being Creative While in Pain

by June Shaw

I know many of you writers know what it's like to try to be creative while you're in pain. Since I wound up with a severly herniated disc six weeks ago, many people keep asking if I'm writing a new book.

This afternoon, for example, I had a badly-needed pedicure. My heels had been snagging my sheets, and my toenails had gotten way too long. Ordinarily I could have taken care of both of these situations myself--use that heel thingie for my heels and trim my nails.

The problem--since I had surgery four weeks ago, the neurosurgeon had me lie down for two weeks. Since then, I can't lift anything heavy or bend over. The hole in my disc needs time to heal. I surely wouldn't trust disturbing that process with trying to reach my feet.

"Ah, so you had surgery on your back since I saw you," the young gent who gave me the great pedicure said. "And have you been writing another book?"

Pretty hard to get creative when you're limited or in pain, I've often thought when asked about this. "I've been doing marketing," I normally tell those who ask.
After all, Untreed Reads just put out my mystery series in ebooks that can be ordered by libraries, so I've been letting lots of them know about it. Also, this month Harlequin published my book DEADLY REUNION in paperback, so I'm letting some people know about that.

I've been getting ideas for other works, but really, I'm satisfied to heal for now and be around all these family members I love most.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and if you're in pain, I hope you heal soon. It's nice to just take care of ourselves.

The Perils of Writing a Book

By June Shaw

I wasn't sure whether to call this post "The Perils of Writing a Book" or -- "The Perils of Cleaning Your House."

Why? you might ask.

Because one morning a month ago I sat at my desk in front of my computer and realized I wanted information from a piece of paper I'd placed on the floor to the right of my chair the evening before. Thus, with a smile, I twisted to the right from my seated position to grab that paper and zing -- excrutiating pain shot from my back and traveled down my left leg to my toes.

I took pain meds and muscle relaxers for two weeks but could still barely stand the pain. During that time, my left foot began to flop.

Eventually I was sent for an MRI, which showed I had a badly herniated disc. That, along with what I discovered was called foot drop in my left foot, made a neurosurgeon immediately schedule me for surgery.

I felt SO much better after the surgery, no pain in that leg and just about no foot drop. I was ordered to lie down for two weeks. Yes, I told him I was a writer and my computer... And he said No - No sitting, just rest.

Monday I went back to him after the two weeks, and he said okay, I could sit. "Go write another book," he told me. Yes!

I'm so far behind with everything but so almost pain free. And I guarantee you that when a sheet of paper falls to the floor, I leave it. (For the next month I need to be cautious and not bend over or lift anything heavy. A fork is just the right weight, I think.) My two grown daughters and my squeeze Bob have taken great care of me, and I would suggest to anyone that it's not good to twist the wrong way or twist and bend. I've been fortunate to live pain free most of my life, so I'm especially grateful.

During my month of pain and then lying down, the third book in my series, DEADLY REUNION, was released as an ebook from all distributors. And Harlequin, who'd bought reprint rights for their Worldwide Mystery division, also released it in paperback this week.

I'm trying to add both covers to show you but can't figure out how, and my brain and back are tired. I hope you'll check them out. And please excuse any errors in this post. I'm not up to proofreading it now. Anyway, I'm learning to avoid any work while I can: )

Best, June

Things Could Always Be Worse

By Mark W. Danielson

Recently, one of my dear friends underwent his umpteenth back surgery.  His latest came less than three months after they sliced him in half, front and back, neck to hips because his pins and screws were already coming out.  A week or so ago they pronounced his latest surgery a success.  Time will tell.  I always think of him daily when I get that stabbing pain in my lower back.  Whenever it gets especially bad, I think of how much my friend has endured and suddenly my discomfort isn’t so bad.

Another friend lost his home in the Colorado Springs Black Forest fire.  They have yet to see the carnage and have no knowledge of whether their beloved dog survived.  As an animal lover, I cannot imagine what they are going through right now.  When I think of the computer problems, broken glasses, phone problems and my car dying I experienced recently, my problems seem petty.  My heart truly goes out to all those who have lost homes in this fire, and recent tornadoes.

Pain is part of writing, too.  Every writer experiences trials and tribulations, and no matter how bad things are, they could always get worse.  Need another example?  In 1991, flames engulfed the Oakland hills, killed over twenty people including two first-responders, and destroyed over three thousand residences.  Among the homeless was an author who had spent two years writing her manuscript.  On the day of the fire, she woke up and ran for her life.  Having no time to gather personal belongings, her manuscript burned with her house, and not having backed it up meant it was gone forever.  She never re-wrote that particular manuscript, but she turned a negative into a positive by transferring her fear onto her characters.  Only first-hand experience can capture such emotion.   

Have you ever received a rejection letter?  It’s impossible to forget, isn’t it?  But the pain of rejection isn’t so bad if it helps you grow as an author.  Sure, sometimes the person who wrote that letter was having a bad day and may have misjudged your work, but most of the time your letter arrived because your work needed improvement.  Learning from rejection not only reduces the sting, it makes you a better writer.

Whether in life or in fiction, misery is whatever we create.  Whenever you experience physical or emotional pain, realize there will always be people far worse off than you. 

Welcome to the Hamster Wheel

By Beth Terrell

In my recent quest for relief for my ailing back, I came across several references to a study released by Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. Dr. Levine advises the use of a "treadmill desk" instead of a regular desk chair. It's exactly what it sounds like. You walk slowly on the treadmill (about 1 mile per hour), while doing your regular job. Typing, talking on the phone, checking your Facebook page...hey, that's work, right? How else are we going to promote our books to all our many friends and the people who "like"--or may eventually like--us? Here's an interesting article, "Your Office Chair is Killing You," about the dangers of sitting and the health benefits of the treadmill desk. I don't know about you, but my day job involves working on the computer much of the day, and the part that's not spent on the computer is largely spent sitting behind a desk doing paperwork. Add to that the time I spend on my own writing and the time I spend online promoting my book and helping to organize the Killer Nashville Crime Literature Conference, and it comes out to a lot of sitting. Turns out our bodies weren't made for that.

But what's a writer to do? If you can't afford to give up the paycheck and you can't bear to give up your writing, are you doomed to lives of lower back pain? Indications are that the treadmill desk can help. Here's another article that describes how to make one of your own (a more affordable option than the $5000 plus Treaddesk designed by Levine) and further explains the rationale behind it. Seems there are some compelling reasons to walk while you work, not the least of which is that exercise--even low levels of exercise--improve brain function.

It also promotes weight loss and better health. Jonathan Fields describes the treadmill desk he made and the 600 calories a day he burns while blogging. He got that number from Levine's study.

Best of all, I read posts from a number of people who say working at the treadmill desk has relieved their back pain.

Now, I'm not the most graceful creature on the planet, but I'm intrigued. Turns out my mom has a treadmill she doesn't need, so I went over tonight to see if it would work (e.g., it will go slowly enough, and the belt is wide enough). It seems to fit the bill. The next step is to get my brother to deliver it to my office for me, and then to find something to use for the desk itself. It has to be strong enough to hold my computer and stable enough that I can hold onto it for support if I lose my balance. I'm thinking of seeing if Mike can make me one of these. It may be like running--or walking sllllooooooowlllly--on a giant hamster wheel, but I'm willing to give it a try if it means no more rationing my computer time.

Next, there's the question of what to do at home. I didn't want to go the treadmill route there. First, I will have already been walking for eight hours. Second, I'm afraid my little dogs would find some way to hurt themselves on it. I've read that sitting on an exercise ball is good for building core strength and relieving back pain, so we ordered one. No worries about hurting the dogs there! It just arrived today, and you're only supposed to use it for a few minutes at a time to start with, so it's too soon to tell how it will work.

I'll keep you posted.

Anybody out there using either of these methods in lieu of ye olde office chaire? I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Back to Back

By Beth Terrell

Writers, as I'm learning much to my chagrin, are at high risk for lower back problems. That's because sitting is one of the worst things you can do for your back, but almost everything we do requires sitting--writing the Great American Novel, promoting the Great Amerian Novel, answering fan emails about the Great American novel...and if your job, like mine, involves working on the computer most of the day, it just adds to the risk. Think about it. Whether you write via keyboard or old-style ballpoint pen, it's hard to do it while walking around. Standing is an option, but it turns out that's not so good for the old back either.

What's a Great American (or British, or Scandinavian, etc.) Novelist to do?

Well, obviously, the best strategy is to avoid the problem altogether. Here are a few suggestions for that:

1) Use good posture when you write (take it from me, you do not want to write a 100,000-word novel while sitting on your couch with your laptop in your lap). Get a good chair. Position your computer so you don't have to tilt your head too far forward to see the screen. If you need to redesign your ork station so you can sit in a more spine-friendly position, figure out a way to do that. Your chair should not only be comfortable, it should have good support for your lower back. If it doesn't, use a lumbar pillow. I found a handy device at my local Walgreens that slips over the back of my chair or car seat and gives lower back support. At less than fifteen dollars, it was well worth the price.

2) Take frequent breaks. I know, it's hard. If you're anything like me, you get involved in a scene, and when you look up again, it's eight hours later, and you feel like some malevolent Medusa has turned you into a statue of The Author at Work. Avoid this by getting up every hour or so. Do some stretches. Take a brief walk, even if it's just around the block or even the back yard. Or even the living room. Set a timer if you have to. Just get up and move. When you have to sit, change positions frequently. Cross and uncross your legs. Twist your torso (gently) from side to side. Fidget a little.

3) Keep hydrated. One theory I've read is that, if we stay dehydrated long enough, the disks in our backs can dry out and get brittle, which makes them more susceptible to herniation. I don't know if that's true, but it is true that our bodies are made up largely of water and that drinking plenty of pure water keeps everything working better, including our movable parts. I feel stiffer and more sore if I don't get enough to drink. I've also read that, because we drink little water and a lot of caffiene-based drinks, most of us are at least mildly dehydrated most of the time.

4) Exercise regularly. Be sure to include aerobic exercise and exercises that strengthen your core muscles. Pilates and yoga are two good options for core-strengthening exercises.

5) Eat a healthier diet. A lot of lower back problems are caused by inflammation, and some foods, especially sugars, processed foods, and red meat can exacerbate the problem.

6) Use good posture when standing. Your weight should be evenly distributed, not cocked to one side or the other.

7) Lift with your legs, not your back.

8) Wear good, supportive shoes, like New Balance athletic shoes. Girls, save the high heels for special occasions.

What if you're already experiencing back pain? First, be gentle with the exercise; two excellent options are gentle walking and walking in water up to your chest.) Then, in addition to the suggestions above, you might try the following:

1) Ice. Twenty minutes with an ice pack can diminish pain almost immediately. Be sure to put a cloth between the pack and your skin, unless the pack you're using specifically states that it is safe for use against the skin. (The one I got from my chiropractor has a gel inside that can be frozen or heated as needed, and it's safe to use directly against the skin. I wouldn't trade it for anything.) I used only the ice, because if your problem is related to inflammation, heat will only make it worse.

2) Visit your doctor or chiropractor. And educate yourself. I've heard conflicting recommendations about chiropractic work. Mine seems to help, but he's someone I know and feel very comfortable with. He doesn't do violent manipulations. If you go to one, do your homework. If you go to your doctor, you might want to do your homework as well. Would you prefer to try a more holistic approach first, or are you prepared for a surgical approach? Know your options.

3) Gaited horseback riding. Granted, you'll need to be careful with this one, and whether it's effective for you or not will depend on the nature of your back problem, but I've met and read about a number of people whose back problems were improved or elimnated after they took up riding gaited horses (such as a Missouri Fox Trotter, Rocky Mountain Horse, or Paso Fino). While the gaits of a regular horse can be very jarring (the opposite of what you need with a bad back), the gaits of a well-trained gaited horse are smoother. I've been told they also replicate the movement our hips and spines make when we walk, so riding this type of horse can be therapeutic for people with back pain. You can read about a study on this here.

I'm especially intrigued by the gaited horses, since I've always wanted one. Hmm. Wonder if I could file an insurance claim for nice gaited Morgan or Missouri Fox Trotter.