Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Odd Case of the Muderous Chum

By Mark W. Danielson

Detectives I. B. Catfish and Sam Sardine were called to the scene of a double homicide at the Danielson household. Two identical golden guppies were last seen floating atop the water in the Danielson fish tank. Word has it they were transplanted there just one day prior, arriving in the same bag as three guppies of another breed. Catfish refused to comment on any plot to kill the twin golden guppies, but he did rule out drowning as their cause of death.

Detective Sardine leaked that the three surviving fish, which he referred to as the “Fish Bait Trio”, had kept to themselves in the lower right corner of the tank while the Golden Girls were alive, but once the twin’s bodies were fished from the tank, the Trio happily frolicked from one end to the other. “It’s more than a coincidence,” said Sardine. “I’ll keep fishing for the truth, and sooner or later, one of them’s bound to get hooked.”

Mr. Cee Snail, who is representing the Fish Bait Trio, called Sardine's accusations ludicrous. “All of this is hearsay,” he said. “First, there’s no autopsy because the twins were immediately disposed of, and without their bodies, there is no case. Secondly, the water could not have been poisoned since the Trio are still swimming in it. Finally, there are no witnesses, nor any fingerprints to sustain these allegations, so if for some reason my clients are charged, I will immediately take this to a higher pond.”

Upon hearing Snail’s remarks, Catfish said, “I’ve dealt with Mr. Snail before and I refuse to take any of his slime. I definitely feel we’ve hit bottom on this case. I can’t believe Mr. Snail would sink so low.”

Snail dismissed Catfish’s comments other than to say, “This case seems awfully fishy to me.”

I couldn’t agree more.


Sheila Deeth said...

A delightfully fishy tale. Thanks for the smiles.

Jean Henry Mead said...

LOL, Mark. You just wrote that for the Halibut, didn't you? It also made me smile. You must put some of these cute articles into bookform. :)

Mark W. Danielson said...

Who says murder can't be fun? It is a true story, though, and the three conniving, scaly, bug-eyed murderers are still doing fine.