Thursday, March 24, 2016

Feeding the Inner Child Can Be Dangerous

by Jackie King
In Julia Cameron’s book AN ARTIST’S WAY, she speaks of feeding your inner child. My problem is, I’m so busy taking care of my old-girl self, that there’s little time left for outings with some kid that lurks in my psyche. However, yesterday I had to return a purchase to the mall, and after struggling through the wildly blowing Tulsa wind into the sweetly scented department store, I decided that both me and my inner-child deserved a treat. (I’m super good at rationalization.) I picked up a shirt when this inner-brat spoke up, “Why don’t you get something different? I’m sick of beige.”
 Am I developing a split personality?
Somewhat unnerved, I put back the top and wandered on through the store. Maybe Inner-Child would prefer a nice navy blue? I strolled from sportswear into blouses and stepped within arm’s length of a dressy print top in shades of orange, yellow and brown. The effect was a bit like viewing an abstract painting and I made the mistake of pausing a minute.

That one, Brat said.

My civilized (beleaguered?) self, smiled and spoke in a (silent) faux-calm voice said, “Okay, we’ll try it on, but will make us look fat.” I looped the blouse over my arm and moved on. Four racks over I spotted a splashy flowered print. I reacted with one word:

“Try on that one, too,” Brat said.
 And I thought my child rearing days were over!
Grown-up-lady rolled her eyes. If anything would make us look ridiculous (an important fear to me, but Brat didn’t seem to care) this garment would. But the jacket was unlined, cotton and sported three-quarter sleeves. Very comfortable for summer, and we mature ladies love our comfort. What the heck, might as well try that one on too.
The two of us, brat and woman-of-a-certain age, (not sure who was leading whom), found a dressing room and tried on both items. SHOCKEROO: My older self decided to buy both! Grown up self loved the blouse; Brat insisted on the blazing blazer.

Feeling more than a little daring, I headed toward hats. I was getting into this. If child and grownup joined forces, what might happen next?

You guessed it! I now have a dozen! Perhaps my Inner Child morphed into an Inner Wild-Child?


Bill Kirton said...

Lovely, Jackie. Indulge both of yourselves. That inner brat sometimes has a type of wisdom that's inaccessible to the outer sage citizen. Remember that great poem. I don't remember the poet unfortunately but I'm sure you know it. It begins 'When I am old I shall wear purple'.

Jackie King said...

Love that poem by Jenny Joseph. I even have a purple T-shirt with that on the front. One of the perquisites of aging is caring less and less about what anyone thinks. Except readers, of course.

Thanks for stopping by.

Chester Campbell said...

Great post, Jackie. And thanks for mention of the poem, Bill. I'd never read it before, but I love it. Know the feeling.

Jean Henry Mead said...

Loved the post, Jackie, as well as the hats. I have dozens of hats that I never wear and didn't realize until now were selected by my inner brat. : )

Jaden Terrell said...

Wonderful post, Jackie! I love the hats. And I love THE ARTIST'S WAY. When I first read it, I wanted to buy one for everyone I knew.

Jackie King said...

Wow! I never expected to get this much response to my musings. And I admit they're mysterious. Sometimes they befuddle even me.

Thanks Chester, Jean and Jaden. I appreciate each of you.