By Mark W. Danielson
Okay, I give up. I've tried being nice to squirrels. I've tried relocating them. My dog trees them and I use my squirt blaster to chase them from my yard, but all is for naught when my neighbors feed the darned things. To make matters worse, squirrel behavior is an evolutionary process that transitions cute little furry-tailed rodents into super squirrels. That's right. Super squirrels. How else could they survive the arctic blasts we've had with minus 19 degree temperatures?
They are called tree squirrels for a reason. They make nests too high for me to do anything while they look down, chattering at me. It's enough to drive the Pope nuts. But that's what they want. Evil against good. The common tale in any mystery.
What concerns me is these super squirrels may teach deer how to become super deer. And why shouldn't they? Deer are just larger rodents. When I find deer nests in my trees, it's time to either move or cut down the trees. For now, I'll simply take my frustrations out on my keyboard.