Thursday, February 10, 2011

Super Squirrel


By Mark W. Danielson
Okay, I give up. I've tried being nice to squirrels. I've tried relocating them. My dog trees them and I use my squirt blaster to chase them from my yard, but all is for naught when my neighbors feed the darned things. To make matters worse, squirrel behavior is an evolutionary process that transitions cute little furry-tailed rodents into super squirrels. That's right. Super squirrels. How else could they survive the arctic blasts we've had with minus 19 degree temperatures?


They are called tree squirrels for a reason. They make nests too high for me to do anything while they look down, chattering at me. It's enough to drive the Pope nuts. But that's what they want. Evil against good. The common tale in any mystery.


What concerns me is these super squirrels may teach deer how to become super deer. And why shouldn't they? Deer are just larger rodents. When I find deer nests in my trees, it's time to either move or cut down the trees. For now, I'll simply take my frustrations out on my keyboard.

13 comments:

Helen Ginger said...

Sounds to me like you're antagonizing them. Start throwing old bread and other treats into your neighbor's yard. Do it consistently. Throw the food closer and closer to the neighbor's house. Throw it at the base of a really nice tree that would make a super squirrel duplex. Lead them to nirvana.

Jean Henry Mead said...

Great idea, Helen. :)

Mark W. Danielson said...

Good idea, Helen,but I seem to have the most trees. Super takes his peanuts from my neighbor's yard, skips across my fence, and happily climbs my tree into his nest. I feel like Yosemite Sam, gosh darn varmits!

Carola said...

I swear my squirrels have 4 litters a year. I've even seen them flagrantly making love (really! Kissing and petting before the Deed) right by my window.

My last but one dog grew up in SoCal with ground squirrels. She once got bitten on the nose when she stuck it down a hole. Imagine her bewilderment when we moved to Oregon and the damn things started running up trees...

Carola said...

You can see my present dog hunting a squirrel here: http://caroladunn.weebly.com/1/post/2010/11/squirrel-hunt.html

Mark W. Danielson said...

Carola, my doggie is a specialist at treeing squirrels. The squirrels love looking down on Maxx, squawking and shaking their tales while he stretches and barks. Loads of fun for everyone except us and our neighbors. I really don't mind having squirrels around except they girdle my tree limbs, which kills them. My solution is to move. (Though our move has nothing to do with the squirrels:)

Jean Henry Mead said...

Good luck with the Texas squirrels, Mark. Deer killed three of my newly planted trees. I wrapped them with white tape but it was too late to save them. They also ate half of the shrubs I planted. Even cayenne pepper didn't deter them. I won't even talk about what they did to my garden. :(

Jaden Terrell said...

I love them. Simply love them. I'd probably change my mind if they moved into my house, but as long as they stay outdoors in the trees where they belong, I say, bring 'em on!

Joel Stottlemire said...

I like to give squirrels a wide berth. Have you seen the video of the squirrel tearing up the snake. Yikes!

http://lifesmostimportantandobscurequestions.blogspot.com/2012/11/acorns-food-or-folly.html

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