By Shane Cashion
Earl’s and Ben’s recent posts about retirement have left me contemplating my own retirement plans. In order for my prospects to improve, we’re going to have to kill the lawyers. Well, maybe not all of them, but at least some. I suggest we kill the old ones and the new ones; the ones who know too much and the ones who know too little.
Old lawyers have worn out their welcome. They take all the good cases and clients, yet bemoan what the profession’s become, longing for "the good old days" when a lawyer’s word allegedly meant something and didn’t have to be reduced to a letter "kindly memorializing our conversation of February 28, 2011 wherein you promised…" I honestly don’t think they’ll fight back. I think they’ll go gracefully, recognizing that they got really lucky, having made most of their money long before tort reform, market saturation, and the obscene proliferation of law schools and their graduates.
As for the young lawyers, they only waste our time. They want us to hire them and pay them big bucks despite the fact that they don’t know how to do anything, other than to draft cover letters full of buzz words, and analyze Supreme Court opinions involving issues that have nothing to do with the daily practices of all but a handful of lawyers. Don’t they know there are already 1.2 million lawyers in the United States? Why are the law schools graduating 40,000 new lawyers each year? What could they possibly think they have to offer? What could they possibly do that some other lawyer isn’t already doing?
If we kill the old and the new, those in the middle, those who know some stuff but are too entrenched with debt, families, and all the trappings of middle class life to change careers, like yours truly, might just have a chance, and maybe even retire one day.