By Chester Campbell
I wonder if President Obama will come up with a bailout plan for hitmen? Don't you suppose they're getting laid off as well as everybody else? The way the Dow Jones is falling off a cliff, there's probably a shortage of funds for paying hired killers.
Any day now I expect to see one standing on the corner at a busy intersection with a crudely lettered cardboard sign:
"Will Kill for Food." Or maybe, "Will Knock Off Your Old Lady for a Six-Pack."
The times are getting desperate. With all the travel cutbacks we've been hearing about, it might even be iffy for a Harvard symbologist to travel to Paris. Think what that would mean for Dan Brown. Might jeopardize any reprise of Leonardo's decoder ring. Or am I thinking about something I got out of a cereal box years ago.
With the cost of guns and ammunition going up as people rush to the dealers before the Democrats can gum up the Second Amendment, murderers may have to turn to cheaper methods for disposing of those who stand in their way. Knives are probably less expensive, but they leave all that bloody mess and DNA lying around.
Poisoning might be more tidy and cheaper, if the bad guys could pick up a little cyanide at a jeweler's. Or maybe pilfer some strychnine from a pest control outfit.
Even cheaper would be strangulation (known as "throttling" in the UK). The classic method involves a ligature or garrote. It could be a chain or rope or wire. All materials that won't break a slayer's budget. And if he's really strapped for cash, he can use his hands.
Let's face it, with the economy heading downhill like a Utah avalanche, the murder business may be falling on hard times. But mystery writers are a hardy lot. I'm sure we'll find the wherewithal to keep assassins plying their trade as usual, even if they might be forced to resort to doing it on the cheap.
But don't rule out a bailout. I saw where the auto parts industry is talking about asking for one. No telling who might be next.
If you'd like to find out how the bad guy does it in The Surest Poison, the book is now available for pre-order at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. And the guy is no piker.
Showing posts with label Sabertooth knives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sabertooth knives. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Not Tonight, Josephine
en
Photos from library book signing in Yukon, OK.
Photos from library book signing in Yukon, OK.Top, Pat Browning; Bottom, Jefferson Spivey
By Pat Browning
Thursday night’s group book signing at the library was a washout for ABSINTHE OF MALICE. I didn’t sell a single book. Not. One.
Nobody was selling. There were more authors than customers. Lots of adults with kids, but mostly they were checking out books. The most popular spot of all was the cookie and cider table.
I had a table in front so I got to watch people come and go. A couple of observations: 1) Religious books, children’s books and inspirational/self-help books drew the most browsers; and 2) Every one (all 5 of them) who stopped at my table picked up the book and turned it over to read the back summary and blurbs. Another author actually flipped through the book and read a page or two.
So – although nobody was buying, I’d say they are readers. That’s exactly how I pick up a new book – read the back blurbs to find out what the book is about, then flip through a few pages to get a feel for the writing style.
The author who flipped through the book did compliment me on the cover: “It has character. It’s not generic.”
I should have mentioned: “You can say the same about the book.” Ah, well, too late. Next time.
Nothing is ever a total loss. The other authors went all out to decorate their tables, with posters, souvenirs and giveaways, so I picked up all kinds of ideas for “next time.” I met an author who is willing to go in with me to do a writing workshop. We bounced the idea off the head librarian, who loved it, but said we would have to wait until spring. Winter in Oklahoma can be brutal and unpredictable. It’s too much work to get a program together, then have to cancel because of snow and ice.
Okay. If I get back to work, I can have Book #2 ready for a spring workshop.
By Pat Browning
Thursday night’s group book signing at the library was a washout for ABSINTHE OF MALICE. I didn’t sell a single book. Not. One.
Nobody was selling. There were more authors than customers. Lots of adults with kids, but mostly they were checking out books. The most popular spot of all was the cookie and cider table.
I had a table in front so I got to watch people come and go. A couple of observations: 1) Religious books, children’s books and inspirational/self-help books drew the most browsers; and 2) Every one (all 5 of them) who stopped at my table picked up the book and turned it over to read the back summary and blurbs. Another author actually flipped through the book and read a page or two.
So – although nobody was buying, I’d say they are readers. That’s exactly how I pick up a new book – read the back blurbs to find out what the book is about, then flip through a few pages to get a feel for the writing style.
The author who flipped through the book did compliment me on the cover: “It has character. It’s not generic.”
I should have mentioned: “You can say the same about the book.” Ah, well, too late. Next time.
Nothing is ever a total loss. The other authors went all out to decorate their tables, with posters, souvenirs and giveaways, so I picked up all kinds of ideas for “next time.” I met an author who is willing to go in with me to do a writing workshop. We bounced the idea off the head librarian, who loved it, but said we would have to wait until spring. Winter in Oklahoma can be brutal and unpredictable. It’s too much work to get a program together, then have to cancel because of snow and ice.
Okay. If I get back to work, I can have Book #2 ready for a spring workshop.
The highlight of the evening was meeting a cowboy who is also a writer and a knife maker. Jefferson Spivey is a legend. He garnered national attention by riding horseback from coast to coast in 1968. In 1984 he rode horseback from Canada down the Rocky Mountain chain to Mexico. In 1986 he rode across the badlands of Namibia, Southwest Africa. Early in his trail-mapping career he invented the Sabertooth knife.
Spivey easily had the most interesting table decorations, and I bought a copy of his book, WIND DRINKER. It’s part journal, part narrative. The photos alone are worth the price of the book. The knives he made are works of art, and collector’s items.
What a source and resource for a mystery writer! His book has all kinds of interesting information about guns and knives. If I have a question, I can pick up the phone or send him an e-mail. He lives right here in town.
Spivey easily had the most interesting table decorations, and I bought a copy of his book, WIND DRINKER. It’s part journal, part narrative. The photos alone are worth the price of the book. The knives he made are works of art, and collector’s items.
What a source and resource for a mystery writer! His book has all kinds of interesting information about guns and knives. If I have a question, I can pick up the phone or send him an e-mail. He lives right here in town.
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