Monday, August 15, 2011

Range Snobs

by Ben Small

You know who you are...

The guy who trots along all firing stations, oil can and screwdrivers in hand, during every break in firing.

The guy who stares at all my cammo'd gear, Molle-bags, ammo containers and piles of magazines before snorting, "Beginner."

The guy who then retreats, adding "Park close?" over his shoulder.

The guy who takes a look at your target, your rifle and your rests and scopes, and sadly shakes his head.

The guy who goes back to his shooting station and tells his buddies, who then all come down to look and chuckle.

The guy who, on one pass through, tells me controlled-feed bolts are more accurate than the direct-feed crap I'm shooting.

The guy who fingers my Wal-Mart Winny White Box round and says, "I make my own."

The guy who tells me smudging my scope may improve my aim.

The guy who claims I flinch with a television clicker.

The guy who taunts me at a target change, saying, "Why bother? You didn't hit it."

The guy who then adds, "Need to move it closer?"

The guy who, on another pass through, touches my steel, blows on his fingers and says, "This barrel won't last long."

The guy who told the range master I'd said the woman next to me had a nice ass. I swear; I said, "She's a nice lass!" There was no stalking...

The guy who got all smarty-pants-pissed-off just because I bumped his original Winchester 1873 Carbine off the rack and onto the concrete. How'd I know Jimmy Stewart once fired it?

The guy I told, "Well, it won't work now..."


Shane Cashion said...

Two words I never thought I'd see together :)

Ben Small said...

There are Range Bullies and Range Snobs, some of whom are range masters. Actually, this was meant as a tease to a shooting friend, who knows much more about engineering and machinery -- hence, rifles -- and he makes his own ammo (really good rounds tailored to our rifles). Because of his precision, he usually outshoots me, which means I lose the beer round.

Funny thing, usually those who know most about shooting are quiet, just performing their skills and admiring their results. They'll answer your question, but don't brag.

The biggest pains in the fanny at the range are those who just want to throw lots of lead downrange as fast as they can. Not only are these folks excessively noisy, but they don't seem to care much where all that lead's going, i.e. they miss a lot. But they usually get the rangemaster's attention if they get too out of hand.