Not So Nice

By Mark W. Danielson

What makes films like A Christmas Story successful? The answer is we can all relate. Was this movie’s creator ever bullied? Probably so. And since people are either bullies or bullied victims, we will always see this theme in the fictional world.

Wikipedia says bullying is “a form of abuse that involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person’s (or group’s) power over another person (or group).” The endless list of reasons for bullying includes, but is not limited to, sexual development (particularly in girls), economic disparity, immigration status, vocal accents, physical size, sexual preference, intelligence, social interactive ability, religious affiliation, and race. Bullies often have difficult upbringings and lack parental support. In many cases, a bully’s parents are bullies themselves. In A Christmas Story, the bullied Ralphie eventually strikes back. In 1999, two bullied Columbine High School students did the same, gunning down their peers before taking their own lives. Sadly, this act has been mimicked numerous times since.

I don’t normally address serious issues like this in my blogs, but the alarming rise in teen suicides and murders has drawn me to this subject. More than ever, our children are subjected to abuse from their peers. What used to be a problem at school has now spread to twenty-four hour bombardment through social networks such as Twitter, Facebook, and cell phones. Too many television shows, particularly MTV’s Jersey Shore and Skins, encourage bad behavior and poor morals because yelling, fighting, and shallow values are the norm. In school, some coaches bully their students while some students bully their teachers. Bullying has even extended into the workplace. In fact, the bullying issue has become so prevalent that President Obama held an anti-bullying conference on March 10, 2011, to seek solutions to this global issue. To me, the problem is a simple case of us losing respect for one another. The solution isn’t as easy.

Audiences love fictional characters that fight back because so many people have been wronged during their lifetime. Clint Eastwood’s nameless character in High Plains Drifter played the ultimate vigilante hero by righting all the wrongs in a remote western town. If only life was that simple.

According to Rana Sampson of the Center for Problem Oriented Policing, eight to twenty percent of the population have been victims of school bullying, sixty-six percent of whom believed school professionals responded poorly to the problems they observed. I suspect the victim numbers are much higher because many don’t report their abuse out of fear or shame. Sixty percent of those who bullied eventually have criminal records. That staggering number is unacceptable and preventable. One thing is certain, so long as they live, bullies and their victims never forget their experiences.

There are multiple resources available on this topic, should you care to indulge. If you have children, it might be worth your time. If you are a writer, you might ask whether your personal experiences are the basis of your story. People need outlets, so in this regard venting novelists fill their readers’ needs. However, the real world needs respectful solutions, and monitoring our children’s’ behavior and what they are exposed to is as important as us listening to them and empathizing with their issues. Be as mindful of what your children are saying as you are about you are writing. Working together, we may find a solution.

Second Chance Cafe

By Mark W. Danielson

Recently, my wife and I were having breakfast in a nation-wide café when I commented to our waitress how nice it was that every customer was cheerfully greeted when they came in. Our waitress, who had been very attentive and friendly, commented that they would lose their job if they didn’t. She said they could get away with less than perfect service, but there was never an excuse for not greeting a customer. This reminded me of Disney’s philosophy that every employee is on stage when they are working, and that their personal life had better not affect their performance while in the public’s eye. I only know of one other restaurant that greets its customers with such enthusiasm, and it’s in Osaka, Japan. That doesn’t say much for the rest of the restaurants.

Now, while this greeting is noteworthy, it’s not the basis of this article. Not by a long shot. What makes the Second Chance Café interesting is that everyone working there has had problems in the past. Problems, as in having criminal records. Oh, my gosh—you mean I was served by an ex-con? Not only was I served by one, but she was one of the best waitresses I’ve had in a long time. She was also the one who revealed the story behind the Second Chance Café.

You see, the founder of this restaurant chain emigrated from Cuba, arriving in the US with only nine bucks in his pocket. Today, he is a successful businessman who is willing to give those who had a brush with the law a chance at a new beginning. Make no mistake, he reinforces that if his employees revert, he will be the first to send them back to jail. But from what I have seen, I doubt he has had many problems because these employees work together like a band of brothers and sisters. You don’t see this at many eating establishments.

I have heard several similar stories about emigrants arriving with virtually nothing and becoming successful business managers. My wife’s grandfather was one of those, arriving from Slovenia, and establishing a successful restaurant in San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf. I recently ate at another establishment founded by a Slovenian who immigrated to Canada. Such people as the employees at the Second Chance Café and these entrepreneurs not only reflect well upon themselves, but they inspire characters who might otherwise be missed. I’m thankful to learn about these untold stories, and will most likely use such characters in future novels.